Sorry this is a bit hurried I keep forgiving people who hurt me, and allow selfish people to take advantage of me.. There are two extremes of people, nice and nasty and different variations of those in between. Just bear in mind though, you are treading the right path and if you believe in it or not, karma is building up on your side and you have plenty in your account! My kindness like so many other good folks kindness is deffo not a weakness x.
Unfortunately people in this world take the fact you are nice, trusting and helpful to their advantage instead of reciprocating the gesture. Find some friends who deal with life like you so and remove all the Haters and abusers from your life and you will feel much better. This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience and to deliver advertising messages and offers on the website that are relevant to you.
To read more about the cookies we use and to change your settings see our cookies policy. Beautiful Disaster. Prev Next. Hide Comments 10 borderlinegoingcrazy months ago. Advice Rating:. Beautiful Disaster months ago. My husband and myself work as computer engineers and founded our small company last year in the hopes of making it something big. Hard work is no stranger to both of us, me especially. I have and did work up to three clients at one time to bring money in — working 14 hour days.
I was so proud, I can remember looking at our business bank account and being so happy and proud of how much progress we were making. Well, pride hurts, I can tell you that. Being a first time business owner, I was green in so many areas. My husband had a friend since he was a teenager that he talked to occasionally. The guy was supposed to be some kind of great salesperson with some computer experience. We chatted with our friend and told him about how great things were going and that we hoped one day to expand and bring more consultants in and grow the company.
He thanked us a million times, as did his wife and swore that he would do anything and everything to advance the company. We even made him an officer. As the months wore on, one thing after another began to happen. First it was his financial problems, he was behind on his mortgage and could we please advance him salary. We wanted to help, I wanted to help — so we did. Then he was behind on HOA dues, etc. Every month it was a new financial crisis. Then he began not wanting to interview or speak with clients or potential clients.
He was extremely happy to draw that bi-monthly salary and do nothing. I would beg him to study, learn, contact clients, sell, market, etc. All the things I paid him for. He never did any of them. Lastly his father, which is sad, got cancer and he spent 6 months running him back and forth to the doctor.
Big Mistake. He took huge advantage of our friendship and kindheartedness. It became evident after his father passed that he had no interest or motivation to work at client sites or sell projects. The last straw came when I set him up on an interview for a local client and he phoned in 15 minutes late and then hung up on the client in the middle of the call.
He lied to us and told us the call dropped. I called the client and found out differently. I had just paid him his salary 1 week before. At that point, I blew up. I demanded our company phone and laptop back but he never returned them so I reported them stolen.
Not to mention the business trips, training, etc. And then there was all the time I invested in training him. I felt so betrayed, angry, etc. I blame myself most of all — I let this person in — my husband blames himself as well.
Now we are scraping by and our bank accounts are almost zeroed out — all because we wanted to help this person and listened to his lies. Its hard when I need new glasses for computer work but cant afford them because we kept this loser on way past when we should have. It has eroded my confidence and my happiness.
But you are right on all points. I am going to try harder to move on and rebuild. It was a terribly expensive and traumatic situation. I had a similar experience. I had a friend for many years and we talked about opening a company together.
I set up the company while he carried on working at his then current job in order to financially prepare for self employment. When it came time to open shop, he had not saved up.
He was divorced, had a kid and had many maxed out credit cards, and expected a huge salary every month from our brand new company in order to cover this. The company was doing ok but could not afford his salary expectations.
I felt so bad for his situation that I gave him my share of the profits every months. This went on for years until I ran out of savings myself. At this point the company was in debt.
The fighting got worse and worse and the more I insisted we start paying off the company debt, the more it was about him and his personal situation. I was left in a lose- lose situation. Do I carry on working with him, fighting all the time and get more company debt, or ask him to leave and settle the debt myself.
It is obvious to say I no longer consider him a friend. The worse part is he contacts me asking to go for drinks and to be friends again like nothing has happened…. All it got me was a lot of debt company and personal.
Life moves on and I have learnt from my mistake. I put myself first and you are correct in saying the best revenge is living well. Great post thanks. It caught my eye because I an struggling with a sense of being let down and wanting to set my sights elsewhere but what do I do? How do I move past the hurt? Your advice is solid, and I am grateful for it. I have set some goals for the next year but must keep the faith and not lose sight of myself. You are right, I can only fix myself not others.
Will keep that close. Thank you. Poor experiences consisting of greed, hurt, and borderline unethical behavior is a hard subject. I applaud your posts transparency while maintaining professionalism and kindness. I am a hair stylist in Arizona. A creative girl with no college education, a love of people and developed emotional awareness. Our meeting was scheduled as an opportunity for me to suggest an alternative in makeup lines to guarantee work and cut cost.
Perhaps even a chance to show my potential as a striving leader in my industry. I have never been spoken to like that before, the subject was both absurd and abrupt. If he wants to see you three days in a row but you feel like things are going too fast, pump the brakes and take some space. Your life, your rules. Ignore Words — Pay Attention to Actions. This one might take some practice, but once you realize that Once you practice tuning out his words in favor of concentrating on the things he does, your dating life will get way better.
Slowly, your days of getting screwed over will slowly come to an end. Listen to Your Gut. Your gut is trying to tell you something — why do you keep ignoring it? Your instincts are there to guide you for a reason. Develop healthier habits and break the crappy ones. If you realize that you keep making mistakes in love, it could be a sign that something in your life needs a major rehaul.
Changing the places you go to will put you in contact with different types of people from all walks of life. Who knows, the cutie staring at the Claude Monet painting at your local museum just might be the man of your dreams.
Spend a bit of time with yourself.
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